Each week I’m going to try and do this column. This will be just some random observations that I noticed during the current week of the glorious 2018 NFL football season. There will be 6 observations and an extra point. So you’re essentially getting a touchdown’s worth of football hot takes from me. Enjoy.
1. Nathan Peterman is my favorite quarterback in the NFL
Today was a real treat because we got to see Nathan Peterman play for the Buffalo Bills after Josh Allen unfortunately got hurt. Could you guess what happened next?
That’s right!! Nathan Peterman literally gifted the Houston Texans the ball game.
I love watching Peterman play. While everyone knows exactly what will happen every time he goes into the game, I feel like he invents new ways to throw interceptions and pick 6’s every single time. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I love the journey. The Bills should tank and play him every week.
2. Is there a QB controversy in Miami?
Speaking of backup quarterbacks who have filled my life with immeasurable joy, Brock Osweiler went OFF today. He had 380 yards passing with 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. He had some really nice touchdowns and some really entertaining interceptions. One probably should have went for a touchdown.
If Nathan Peterman and Brock Osweiler both threw pick 6’s in the same day I think my life would be complete.
In regards to the QB competition in Miami, there’s no way in hell the Dolphins win the game if Ryan Tannehill plays. They would have lost by double digits and he would have thrown 3 picks. Tannehill may be the only person in the world who’s less clutch than the Atlanta Falcons team.
Is Brock Osweiler a long term answer at QB? No. But neither is Ryan Tannehill. I think you’ve gotta ride the Brocketship until it blows up into a million pieces like The Challenger did.
3. Jameis Winston throws the most hilarious interceptions and I love it
It’s no secret that elite quarterbacks like Eli Manning have had success throwing the ball of helmets but it’s always more ideal when your team catches the ball.
Pretty awesome. Here’s another one from his first game back from suspension:
Fitzmagic was fun but Jameis Winston throwing hilarious interceptions every week is even more fun.
4. I feel like we were cucked out of a snow game in Denver today
I woke up and saw this tweet from Adam Schefter and I was expecting a full-on blizzard to be happening in Denver today for the game.
Here’s a highlight from the actual game:
I feel cheated. I woke up like a kid on Christmas morning thinking that the game was going to look like Christmas morning. I feel like if you’re gonna tweet pictures of snow before the game you should have to preface those tweets with “IT’S PROBABLY GONNA BE CLEARED BY GAME TIME SO DON’T GET TOO EXCITED!”
5. Are we sure the Jaguars are good?
No, we’re not sure. In fact, I don’t think they’re very good at all. After getting annihilated by Kansas City last week, they lost to a really lousy Dallas Cowboys team. In week 2 after they beat New England I said that you could book their ticket to the playoffs but now they sit at 3-3 and I’m not so sure.
One thing that helps them is that they’re in a dumpster fire of a division. Regardless of what the Titans record is, they’re a bad football team. The Texans are on a bit of a streak at this time but I’m still convinced that their poor offensive line is going to get DeShaun Watson, and ultimately their season, killed. The Colts are garbage personified. That’s about all the Jags have going for them right now.
6. The referees missed the most blatant false start of all time and it led to a Chargers TD
This is really bad.
Really, really bad. Russell Okung took two steps before the ball was snapped. The Chargers scored on the play. It didn’t really have an impact on the game because the Chargers won by so much but it’s the principle that the officials missed such a horrible call. This was one of the worst misses I’ve seen in a long time.
Extra Point: Power ranking the 5 worst teams in football using four words to describe each team (worst is on top)
Arizona Cardinals- I forget they exist
Oakland Raiders- 10 years $100 million
New York Giants- Please tank for Herbert
Buffalo Bills- Peterman is a magician
Indianapolis Colts- No luck for Andrew