Folks, I’m currently sitting down on my couch anxiously awaiting the start of Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final where my Tampa Bay Lightning can win it all for the first time since 2004 and the first time since I became a fan in 2012. Needless to say, I’m pretty nervous. So I decided that I’d write a letter to my favorite football team who is on the completely opposite side of the spectrum from the Tampa Bay Lightning.
The Giants are 0-2 and through two weeks they have the worst scoring offense in the NFL. Things are rough. We need a win tomorrow and we need a win badly or we are entering some pretty depressing territory. So I decided that I was going to write a letter to motivate the team in an effort to jump start their season to at least make things interesting. Here goes nothing.
Dear New York Football Giants,
I hope that this letter finds you in good health. I hope that this letter finds you with a positive outlook on things despite a miserable start to the season so far. I hope that this team is focused on the golden opportunity to face the only team in the NFL more decimated by injuries than you are. Yes, the 49ers will be without Italian Andy Dalton, Nick Bosa, and Solomon Thomas tomorrow giving you a golden opportunity to get a win and get this season back on track.
To Joe Judge- Play the game to win tomorrow. I want you to consider going for it on every single fourth and 1 that’s anywhere near plus territory. I want you to take shots down the field and make the New York Giants offense fun again. Hell, I want you to try and sneak into the 49ers team hotel and hypnotize their kick coverage team into watching an onside kick go right into the Giants hands Atlanta Falcons style. After all, you know that’s something that your mentor, Bill Belichick, would do.
To Jason Garrett- I need you to clap more on the sidelines. I know that this is by far the worst offensive personnel you’ve ever had as a coach but we need more positivity from you. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen you clap this season on the sidelines. Be better. We all have jobs to do and I need you to do yours.
To Daniel Jones- You have the most dangerous job in the field day in and day out. You have the courage, in the middle of a once-in-a-century pandemic, to suit up and play a contact sport behind the Giants offensive line. That takes guts. The only thing in football that’s more dangerous than playing behind the Giants offensive line is playing on the Metlife Stadium turf that eats ACLs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that if you fumble the ball again that the entire fanbase is likely going to turn on you.
To Leonard Williams- I need you to play like the player that Dave Gettleman thinks you are. When I look at you, I see an average at best defensive tackle. When Dave Gettleman looks at you, he sees Chris Jones of the Kansas City Chiefs. I need you to at least put up some invisible stats tomorrow so that I can at least have some fun arguments on Twitter about what your worth is to this team with some Gettlestans.
To the rest of the defense- This is a huge game for you. Many of you are playing for your jobs for this season and beyond. You’re playing against a backup quarterback which makes this the perfect game for you to get some good tape on the reel so that Dave Gettleman overpays you/doesn’t draft someone who plays your position this coming offseason. Nobody overvalues his own guys more than Dave Gettleman. This is your moment. Will you seize it, or let it slip away?
Lastly, to Giants fans- Let’s just hope both teams have fun tomorrow! After all, there’s no point in getting angry about the result of a season that is likely going to end with 6 or less wins total. What we want to see is progress. So let’s hope that the progress starts.
Dancouver, 366 Sports