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NFL One-Line Recaps (Week 5)

Easily the best QB in the AFC West (maybe the NFL) through 6 weeks.

Officially done with 5 weeks of football. Honestly a weird week for kickers, but we are starting to get a feel for who are contenders and who who are pretenders. The Broncos feel like the exact halfway point between the two.

A little prediction here: AFC Championship game will be the Bills vs Chargers. You heard it here first.

Without further ado, here are the team one-liners:

Arizona Cardinals: The undefeated streak continues (Insert side eye emoji)!

Atlanta Falcons: Nice bounce back win for Matt Ryan who hasn’t played bad at all the past two weeks.

Baltimore Ravens: NFL fans thought this game was officially done before the 4th quarter.

Buffalo Bills: Officially the best team in the NFL by far and it’s beautiful.

Carolina Panthers: Does this team specifically practice to only be productive for the first 30 minutes of a game?

Chicago Bears: Must feel good for Khalil Mack to be the last team Gruden plays and give him a last loss.

Cincinnati Bengals: Evan McPherson couldn’t hit the game winner this time but it was SOOOO close.

Cleveland Browns: Why did half the defense pull 1 man INTO the end zone they were defending? (Insert clown emoji).

Dallas Cowboys: In the past this team has always looked good on paper, but this year it is translating to the team.

Denver Broncos: This team does really well against bad teams and not so good against decent ones.

Detroit Lions: Fans really thought this was the one.

Green Bay Packers: Seemed like neither kicker wanted to win the game but Mason Crosby redeemed himself.

Houston Texans: We always here about Bill Bellicheck crushing rookie QBs, but Davis Mills had an excellent game.

Indianapolis Colts: Carson Wentz said it best: “we’ve got to have a killer instinct at the end of the day.”

Jacksonville Jaguars: James Robinson was more effective on the ground than Derrick Henry, but he didn’t score as many touchdowns.

Kansas City Chiefs: When are they going to have a defense?

Las Vegas Raiders: Jon Gruden trades his best player to start the franchise and then loses to that team to end his tenure.

Los Angeles Chargers: Easily the best QB in the AFC West (maybe the NFL) through 6 weeks.

Los Angeles Rams: These receivers look so much more incredible with Stafford at the helm.

Miami Dolphins: This was an incredibly nasty game, hit the fast forward button.

Minnesota Vikings: Another kicker absolutely crushes the dreams of Lions fans everywhere for a second week in a row.

New England Patriots: Patchwork offensive line gets the job done for now.

New Orleans Saints: We never know which Jameis Winston we will see every week.

New York Giants: How about no points off of two turnovers to start off an absolutely abismal day.

New York Jets: This franchise rushes young QBs into terrible situations and this is the result.

Philadelphia Eagles: Fans were outside of Bank of America stadium at MIDNIGHT still cheering about this win (I personally saw them in Charlotte as I happened to be there).

Pittsburgh Steelers: This O-line really performed against a solid defense.

San Francisco 49ers: Are they expecting too much out of Trey Lance?

Seattle Seahawks: Some people didn’t even know this guy was still in the league but how bout GENO SMITH?!

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: No one could no any wrong, even Blaine Gabbert threw for 100% completion percentage.

Tennessee Titans: King Henry imposed his will.

Washington Football Team: Dominated time of possession and still lost.

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